Amid the maelstrom, transgender boy's family grateful for support

Kristie Maldonado had to fight back tears Wednesday as she read a letter from a Scout leader in Great Britain offering her 8-year-old transgender son membership in his troop and adding: “We don’t discriminate.”

And, she added, she was touched by the outpouring of support for her family after The Record reported this week that her son, Joe, was barred from being a Cub Scout in Secaucus because he was born a girl.

But she also read numerous comments on social media questioning her judgment for allowing her son to live as a boy and doubting the very concept of transgenderism – despite its acceptance by a large segment of the medical science community.

She said she was prepared for those comments – especially as national media outlets picked up the story – as her son’s experience became a part of a larger conversation about the issue of transgender rights and a renewed scrutiny of the membership policies of the Boy Scouts.

“I read it all when I educated myself [on the transgender issue],” she said, adding that she understood that some people are critical of parents of transgender children.

“I feel they need to be educated,” she said. “You can’t judge what someone’s going through or how they feel. You have to live it. You don’t even have to understand it. Just give some respect.”

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The Boy Scouts had only recently emerged from a period of turmoil that saw a loss of members and of corporate sponsors before it overturned bans against gay Scouts and gay Scouting leaders over the past few years. The Scouts did not address the issue of transgender members when they made those changes.

The leader of Cub Scout Pack 20 in Maplewood and South Orange said on Wednesday that he would petition the Northern New Jersey Council of Boy Scouts to allow Joe to join his group.

“I and my den leaders are actively expressing our objections to the local offices' decision,” said the leader, Kyle Hackler. “We all want Joe to join our pack.”

He said he sent an email to the Northern New Jersey Council, which is based in Oakland, but had not heard back as of Wednesday afternoon. Last month, a council executive informed Maldonado that her son would not be allowed to continue to be a member of the Cub Scouts.

“I said in the email that I was displeased, and asked if there is any way that Joe could join my pack,” Hackler said. He said that barring transgender boys from Scouting would “discourage recruitment,” just as the gay bans had, and added: “I don’t see anything in the rule book that keeps this boy from being a Scout.”

The Boy Scouts of America declined to say whether the organization has a transgender policy.

In a statement earlier this month, it said it does not bar members based on sexual orientation but indicated that gender identity is a separate issue. It said birth certificates would be the determining factor to grant “legal status” to its members, adding that the Cub Scouts is a group for boys.

LGBT advocates have said the Boy Scouts are not known to have required birth certificates to determine gender status in the past. Hackler said he has never seen “anything in the rule book that says anything about a birth certificate.”

The Boy Scouts of America did not respond Wednesday to additional questions about their policies. The Northern New Jersey Council did not respond to messages either.